^^^Well Duh! What is life but a series of regrets.

dont regret or change a fucking thing

Hello me recently turned five, stay from the ocean because you'll drown, you have a condition called phimosis, try and stretch your foreskin over your glans; circumcision is so final.

If I.E. wants to let you stay with Landa and D.D. Sweeting within two years (circa 7/8); fiend sickness and tell her you'll go with her and you'll behave, don't stay with those sisters, they're fucking evil.

Don't watch Demon seed when you travel summer '85 to miami, and if you do, refuse to go with your grand aunt when she wants to see if the bus arrived with your aunt and cousins later that night, trust me, the alternative is Howard Johnson's alarm being pushed and everyone hates you.

Masturbate continually, move your hand up and down your weewee till you feel a tingling sensation, or until it hurts, or ask girls in school to help.


Aisha Grant is white/asian girl you'll befriend when you're ten, even though she's 14 tell her you love her.


On the phone when you're talking to her, tell her you want to smell her.

Write down her and all her friends' numbers, keep these and memorize

them. call them on the regular and ask them if they're okay.

You'll get Asthma and Eczema but for the love of God, don't allow those

Docs to give you five hundred Milligrams of Predisone, trust me, don't let

them. But that's later, before this, T'shura is a cunt, don't let her tell you

otherwise.


Everything else you'll figure out on your own, but remember, you're a god

among mice, so act it. But be a selfless loving god, not the selfish self

centered gods.

follow the way like you mean it, t'shura's a whore so don't worry about her

Stay with computers, and fuck kelly's don't ever work there; they'll betray

you and leave you with a fucked up back. When you graduate from school

hop on a plane and head for Canada, study computer science. remember,

you're a god among mice.

Edit: Don't get married till you're ready for it, but if you must make sure she likes what you like, and learn to love front as if your life depended on it, you're an asshole but don't say shit, and you'll be fine. pretend to be stoic, but love your woman as if your life depended on it, and don't believe anyone, most people are evil.

Women are going to be your largest down fall. Just fuck them and never listen. :D

Dear MEGA 1991,
Fuck that Korean girl once more, and ...well that's it.

Dear Hooker Circa 1990...

When you play with your R/C cars you NEED more practice, and that kid at the track that says come out back and smoke this, don't listen to him, you could be a damn good hockey player and it may fuck up a scholarship or two.

When 4 guys say you want a deployment, tell them no if given the chance, and no matter how bad you think flying around on helicopters is, LIFE AFTERWARDS IS MUCH WORSE!

If you were to have a chance to get out of the Army and go home, as appealing as that may sound, DON'T DO IT, you may meet a hot girl, on the surface may seem like the perfect woman, ISN'T!

That chick you met in Vero while on leave, just fuck her and walk away, she'll be a coke head stripper before she breaks your heart, she's not worth your time dude, no seriously, even if she screams to put it in her ass shes not worth your time!

If you are ever sitting there telling yourself that I'll just get the cheap turntables cause it's just something fun, kick yourself in the ass and blow the cash on the good shit, you'll need them.

If you ever come down to the decision of your wife, or your career? I don't know what to tell you yet but give me a couple months and we'll see how it shakes itself out...:)

Haha, I hear ya bro. I still regret buying those damn Gemini Belt-drives.
Tech 12's all the way!

I still have my first set, Numark TT-100's I spent like $400 on them, and could have got my 12's for like $750 lol

(I kept them for nostalgic purposes)

Hey 25 year old me when you get fired from the station this year, oh yeah that's going to happened, you just let it happen do not change it at all, trust me it's for the best, but when you go back that night to say goodnight to The Reaper and The Grave Yard Crew steal more than just the Led Zepplin collection grab all you can carry, cuase in 8 months the full hard drive system, will be in place and skynet will go online, and the format will change from classic rock to top 40, yes John Conner we will lose this war, and the SD will sell the vinyl, so steal all of them you can carry. Oh yeah, before you leave when you think about it, put visine in the office coffee pot. Bastards!

Decano 1985:

1. Don't go to Connecticut for Christmas...Your Uncle will teach you about nose candy and it'll fuck you up for 13 months.
2. Stay home more often and work on your relationship with your Dad. He's got a lot to teach you.
3. Take college more seriously.. If you can get A's and B's while high all the time and not studying, imagine what can happen if you put in an effort.
4. Go to Law school.