| Foetus |
04-14-2011 08:48 AM |
^^^lulz:rolleyes:
Report: Conjoined twins feel gay after masturbation
The psychology department at Arizona State University (yes, they actually have one) recently reported that the worst part of being siamese twins is the shameful feeling they experience after masturbation. This is the result of a survey taken by over 100 conjoined twins around the world? which I guess is over 200 completed surveys? or is it?? I don?t know, it?s gross.
The survey had two simple questions: ?What is the biggest benefit of being a conjoined twin?? and ?What is the worst part of being a conjoined twin?? While the answers to the biggest benefit varied from ?constant companionship? to ?being able to blame the other for a fart?, the answer to the worst part of being a siamese twin was shared by over 95% of the applicants: masturbation.
?Most siamese twins feel very uncomfortable masturbating with their sibling laying right next to them,? said researcher Jim Alexander. ?It just makes them feel gay. And it?s understandable. I had a couple too many Zima?s once when I was in a fraternity, and the next thing you know my pledge brother was offering $10 to watch me whack off. So of course I did it. The whole episode made me question my sexuality for months. Plus the asshole didn?t pay me, which made everything even worse. This part won?t make it into the article, will it??
Results of the questionnaire reveal the many different ways that siamese masturbation makes conjoined twins feel gay. The Winsted Twins from Massachusetts said that feeling the other?s breath on their lower back during a crank makes them feel gay. The Kauffman Girls from Charlottesville feel gay during masturbation because they technically share the same hand. And the Gervis brothers? we can?t publish what goes on, but the gay feeling they get after masturbation is plenty warranted. |
