No you did not read that wrong.

So, not from butt stuff?
 

Woman’s stomach cramps turn out to be a baby — in her bowel



In a rare medical anomaly, a woman was shocked to learn she was 23 weeks pregnant with the baby growing inside her bowel.

According to the case study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the 37-year-old sought medical treatment after 10 days of severe abdominal pain and worsening bloat, but scans revealed she was pregnant with a “normally formed” fetus.

However, she was experiencing an abdominal ectopic pregnancy, when a fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus and instead in the abdominal cavity, which only accounts for approximately 1% of ectopic pregnancies.

Ectopic pregnancies — which make up less than 2% of all pregnancies and more commonly occur in the fallopian tubes — are a danger to the mother, potentially causing internal bleeding, tube rupture or shock, and rarely result in a surviving fetus.

Dear god. Now I wonder if the song from Rick & Morty can come true, too. :eek: :evillol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEXiVS8Onh0

Risk of penile fractures rises at Christmas, doctors find

It may be the season of loving and giving, but doctors have warned against embracing this spirit too enthusiastically – at least where sexual relations are concerned. They have discovered that the Christmas period is associated with a significantly increased risk of penile fractures – a medical emergency in which the erection-producing regions of the penis snap, usually as a result of forceful bending during over-enthusiastic sexual intercourse.

“This injury tends to occur during wild sex – particularly in positions where you’re not in direct eye contact [with your partner], such as the reverse cowgirl,” said Dr Nikolaos Pyrgides, a urologist at the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich, who led the research.

The fractures are often heralded by an audible crack, followed by severe pain, rapid loss of erection and severe swelling and bruising. “When [patients] present to their doctor their penis often looks like an eggplant,” Pyrgides said.

Not even safe doing anal :D

Who makes eye contact during sex

Frothy don't

Bloke needed life-saving surgery after he stuffed 65cm-long eel into his anus with a lemon

The bloke, who shoved the unlikely couple into his anus for reasons we'll never know, now has to live with a colostomy bag, as eel tried to bite its way out of the man's large intestine
By Zita Whalley 16:49, 31 JUL 2024



A man is lucky to be alive after he plugged up a sizeable live eel inserted into his anus with a lemon.

While it is unclear what the 31-year-old Indian expat was hoping to achieve with this horrific act, he wound up in hospital in Hanoi, Vietnam after experiencing severed abdominal pain.

Traumatised medics at the Viet Duc Hospital spotted the 26-inch-long eel in an X-ray scan, which the bloke had shoved up his bum earlier that day, Saturday, July 27.

The X-ray revealed a “long bone-like structure” which extended across the patient’s abdomen from right to left, reports Must Share News.

In an even more horrific discovery, doctors determined that the pain was caused as the eel tried to chew its way out of the man’s digestive tract by biting through the large intestine.



In yet another revolting yet puzzling twist, as medical staff tried removing the fish with a probe, also inserted in the man’s anus, the team discovered the chap had popped a whole lemon into his rectum as well.

Surgeons then had to cut through the abdomen to remove the eel with forceps, and work the lemon back through the man’s anus until he pooed it back out. They then stitched up the hole in his intestine.

The man now has to live with a colostomy bag, and medical staff say he would have died without intervention.



Unsurprisingly, medics advised shoving live animals into your anus is not a good idea.

Hospital Deputy Director of the Center for Colon and Rectal Surgery Dr Le Nhat Huy said: “Eels are animals that can survive in anaerobic conditions for a long time and can puncture the digestive tract.

“People should absolutely not insert animals through their anus to create a strong sensation, as the consequences can be severe.”

Huy added that while removing foreign objects from patients’ anuses are a familiar surgery, this was the first time his team removed a live animal from one.