Post the most *OFFENSIVE* jokes you know

[Carlos Spicy Wiener]

What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
You can't gargle gravel.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying in a ditch?
Phil.

What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an AX.

[Carlos Spicy Wiener]

Q. What's the best thing about fucking a two year old?
A. Your dick looks MASSIVE in photos.

-What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.




-A man comes home to find his girlfriend packing her bags. he asks her where she's going and she sobs, "I'm leaving you!"
"Why?!" he asks. "Haven't I been good to you? Taken care of you? Given you everything you wanted?"
She replies, "Well, yes... but... all my friends say you're a PEDOPHILE!"
The man smiles gently and tells her, "Ok, slow down there honey. First of all, that's an awful big word for an 11-year-old to be using..."


-There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So...

They buried her.

[FortySuz&Two]

leave it to dangle

Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together.

The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail.

The robbery begins.

The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"

"Perfectly," he said.

He goes in the bank with a shotgun while the other waits in the getaway car.

One minute passes, two minutes pass...seven minutes pass - and the first lover is really stressing out.

Finally, the bank doors burst open and out he comes. He's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car.

About the time he gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.

The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.

As the guys are getting away, the first lover says "I thought you understood the plan!"

The second lover while sitting on his shotgun says, "I did! I did exactly what you said!"

"No, you idiot," he replied. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

[Carlos Spicy Wiener]

A half-Jewish, half-black kid asks his mum, "Am I Jewish or am I black?"
"You're just my son" relpies his mother, "but why do you ask?"
"Well," says the boy, "my friend is selling his bike for ?50 and I don't know whether to be a good Jewish boy and haggle or just stab the cracker cunt and nick it!"

[Carlos Spicy Wiener]

Whats the difference between jam and jelly?





YOU CAN'T JELLY YOUR DICK IN A GIRLS ASS.

[Carlos Spicy Wiener]

Why do chemists put cotton buds in the tops of their drugs bottles?





To remind Blacks they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers

[KrakeN]

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Sorry Dangle...I beat you to this one (see post #122).

[Jules 4D]

o man I love this site

[Expletive]

What's the difference between an atheist and a zealot







atheist commits suicide and zealots are martyrs.