DAE Need Advice? - The Drunken stepFORUM - A place to discuss your worthless opinions

Wood Dragon · #1 10-04-2011, 09:04 PM

Ok so in looking around I see we have a couple of advice threads. They are close but no Cigar. I put this one is in this sub-forum where you can enable anonymous posting to keep your problems private. I (and all the other DSFers) will do our level best to try to help you, or at least make fun of your pain.

Love, relationships, sex, or even boring everyday shit that you have questions about. Plus you get to keep from getting razzed outside this thread. Since you can post anonymously you'll need to use a nom de plume on your posts to identify you on any of your follow up responses.

Also you can post Unsolicited Advice. Things you've learned to be true that you want to share with the world. Just put Unsolicited Advice in the title line so everyone will know you're giving not asking.

Let the DSF be your shrink.

Wood Dragon · #2 10-04-2011, 09:15 PM

Every once an awhile in bed. Spin around in bed and put your feet against the wall, pull her tight to you, have her grab her knees and pull her legs tight to her chest, enter her and fuck her like a jackhammer. With the wall you use your quads and your glutes to give your thrusts extra ummph. With her legs together up around her chest you'll feel (to her) like your dick is up in her lungs. Do this toward the end of your sex session as you're not gonna last to long in this position.

Careful if you have a bed on rollers and hardwood floors you could end in the middle of the room.

Happy Fuckin.

MrGoutHimself · #3 10-05-2011, 02:21 PM

More unsolicited advice:

Every once in a while try the other hand.

Anonymous · #4 10-06-2011, 09:17 AM

I need advice. Ever since my son was born just over a year ago my wife has refused to have sex with me, she said she is tired but I think it's my hair colour. I'm becoming increasingly frustrated and have to masturbate several times a day just to cope.

We went away for a week to Wales not long ago and I ended up masturbating in front of a picture of an FB friend when I thought she was out. She was only in the bathroom though and I turned round and caught her staring at me disgustedly.

Is my wife a pervert?

#5 10-06-2011, 11:01 AM

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Dear Pobs,
We would need pictures of your wife to determine whether or not she is a pervert. Also, were you wearing her panties "whilst" masturbating?

#6 10-06-2011, 11:19 AM

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Can't you just fuck her in her sleep? Slip some Benadryl into her beverage before bed time. This will ensure she will stay sleeping longer. Try to position the computer with the FB friend into your view from the bed. This is so you can maintain your erection longer.

I don't think your wife is a perv, I think she would have hurt you if you proceeded to ask for head, but then again, I don't know her.

#7 10-06-2011, 11:20 AM

How the hell do you post anonymously?

maxbailey · #8 10-06-2011, 11:32 AM

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Wood Dragon · #9 10-06-2011, 01:19 PM

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Dear Not Getting None (I made you up a pseudonym)

No your wife is NOT a pervert. That is the problem. If she were a crazy wild slut we wouldn't be here, would we? Some women who once established with home and child can have their sex drive shut down on them. Clinical studies have shown in these type of woman that their testosterone drops by 50% or more after popping out puppies and getting a white picket fence. So you need to bring the testosterone back up. Tribulus is a luteinizing hormone designed to bring up testosterone levels. It's over the counter and harmless. Start slipping her two a day till she's ripping your clothes off.

The other possible reason is you, (I'm being gentle here) suck in bed. Sam Kinison's rule of make her come twice before she sees your dick is still very good advice. Follow that as well

When all else fails try this. Just switch Anal for "ANY" and the lesson still holds true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8H3p2RxCwQ

Or choose a picture of her mother's FB page next time. She'll either fuck you or kill you. Either way problem solved.

Thanks and Fuck off

NookieJunkie · #10 10-06-2011, 01:47 PM

Dear Anonymous

Are you sure your wife didn't just want to play FB tag?