The Man Rules

[Carlos Spicy Wiener]

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.


Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

[maxbailey]

Werd.

[Choppie]

I'll agree to everything except sports. Never really cared much about it.

[ms. cellany]

LMAO @ the Christopher Columbus one... dude thought he sailed to the Indies.

[mr.brownfella]

an admendment to the rules...

I remember these from catholic school..

ii. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!

ii. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

ii. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

ii. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ii. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

ii. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

ii. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

ii. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

ii. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

ii. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?


Remember this is just to add to the list.

Bwahahah

"If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that."

so very, very true

[DontSnatch]

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!


as soon as i read that, i knew it was gonna be good.

[Mr Handlebars]

Ain't it the truth, especially not being mind readers and If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. No man deliberate tries to piss off a woman unless he's about to divorce her.