Here I am making myself famous by posting one thousand times, with stories and poems

[Expletive]

I'm posting a thousand short stories, I won't use microsoft word or any grammatical software to keep it spontaneous and cool.

Felix tried his best to hide the gun after he had used it to kill Sheryl and Lindsey. But, the sound of the weapon had echoed through his house and the neighbours almost immediately came over to investigate. Surely they'd see the tell tale evidence of a jealous husband meting out a crime of passion (Lindsey and Sheryl were secret lovers, though they were both married; Lindsey to Felix); on the floor both women, Sheryl's head in Lindsey's lap with a bullet to the back of the head,Lindsey shot right between the eyes. Felix shot them in less than a second, he was after all the Nevada state sharp shooter champion. He loved his wife but couldn't see past the fact that she had been cheating on him with a woman, that Felix decided, signed her death warrant. How dare she'd do such a thing, after he and her were recently baptized at the local corner church and Pastor Reinhardt and his wife were so understanding and inviting. So what if they'd ask them both to leave irregular sex alone, and to only have sex when Lindsey wasn't having her period, or even to wait five days after her period stopped, at least they'd be blessed by god and their lives happier. So what if he and Lindsey enjoyed oral sex, all things would have to change, wouldn't it? Felix was feeling strange and stood there watching the bodies as his neighbors continually banged on the door. Eventually, almost uncharacteristically Felix shouted that the door was open.

Father Reinhardt walked towards Lindsey and checked her pulse, he looked up at his wife then to Felix. Standing somberly Father Reinhardt turned to Lindsey's distraught husband.

"Give me the gun Felix," Felix eyes were swollen with water.

"My God father, I'm sorry but she, she," Whimpered Felix.

"I know my son, give me the gun, it's okay, tell him it's okay Maggie." Father Reinhardt's wife nodded and quickly agreed with her husband.

"It is okay Felix, god knows your wife sinned so he'll forgive you for killing her, really he will," Said Mrs Reinhardt. Felix hesitated for a moment and then he gave Father Reinhardt the 38 snub nosed revolver.

"Okay Felix, I want you to sleep." Father Reinhardt raised his hand and Felix collapsed unconscious.

Felix dreamed of large tentacles falling from the sky crushing killing and impregnating humanity, he woke up to find himself fastened to his bed with a slimy substance all over his body.

Father Reinhardt stood above him with tentacles coming out of his eyes and ears and mouth, and a sound which vocalized words but sounded grated, spoke to him.

"You're awake father, it is good that you are so." Reinhardt sounded satisfied, and it made Felix's heart jump.

"What is this Reinhardt?" Felix voice croaked and sounded mousy, his breath coming out of him like a pressure pump. Behind Reinhardt his wife Maggie walked through the door with her neck twice its regular size and moving with life. "Maggie is about ready to birth your children." Felix stared at both with his mouth drawn, not sure if he should take them seriously or laugh at the hilarity of it, but, such obvious facts could not be faked.

"father Reinhardt, what is this? What is wrong with your wife, where's Lindsey?" Felix tried to control the obvious terror in his voice, but lost control over his bladder and pissed all over himself. Looking down, he saw that his penis was out of his pants and was pointed toward him. "What the fuck?" Maggie walked even closer and the bulge in her neck switched from left to right faster than a twitching finger.

"I'm sorry father, I took the liberty of implanting myself with your seed, we needed more youngins for our fresh bodies we have here." Felix now falling towards madness opened his mouth in shocked disbelief. Reinhardt walked closer still and touched his forehead.

"When you awaken you will understand even more father, now sleep." Felix went out like a light.

Felix dreamed of deep space aliens made of nebulae and sentient globs of plasma which lived among them and, towering tentacled creatures spawned from a singular essences and, the beings that worshiped them. The younger smaller races called the tentacled monstrosity Duamel, and would daily allow themselves to be eaten by him. A monstrous maw filled with jagged teeth and translucient tentacles would greedily chomp down on all which happened to venture to close to his event horizon. Instead of quickly consuming them, he enjoyed their presences within himself as he slowly absorbed them over millennial enjoying, their suffering as well as presence.

This went on for near eons, until the race which worshiped him, the Nuamel had advanced to the point that science became their god as opposed to a lumbering creature unable to free itself from the crevice it was implanted into. After the last sentient person was fully digested by Duamel, he sought more sentience, but discovered that for more than a thousand years, no sentient person had offered themselves to him. Outraged he lashed out and his tentacles found several victims which was quickly consumed by Duamel, and for this his former servants decided he would have to be destroyed. Duamel sensed the capability of his subjects from the ones he had absorbed, but he fully didn't comprehend the length of their ability. They decided to leave the planet behind, but, Duamel infected them with spores which contained miniature copies of himself, but instead of leaving him be, the spore infected populace attacked him and destroyed the planet around him. Knowing his death was immanent, Duamel used his last victim and poured as much of his essence into that person and encased him in a capsule made of Duamel's near indestructible bones and launched the sole survivor into space. Duamel tried to survive the attacks best he could, thus, he compressed his essence into smaller and smaller potions of himself, thus, he decided to download into tens of trillions of microscopic spores, each one with the cosmic ability of phase shifting and allowed himself to cease, thus, satisfied in thinking he was dead, his children left the planet never to return.

After several millenia another species arrived on the planet exploring, unknowingly most of Duamel's spores invaded the ship and tried to hitch a ride from there, but once near the sun, the vessel discoverd that it was infested with an unknown life form, self destructed, destroying most of Duamel's spores on board, except for a small few that happened to slip out of phase.


Felix felt uneasy, something was happening and he stepped away from returning memories and opened his eyes to see Lindsey staring up at him, her head planted firmly in his lap and his penis in her mouth, opening her mouth spilling spittle and seed Lindsey spoke to him in a voice that was hers, even if she was a dream.

"You'd prefer me doing this for you baby?" Asked Lindsey. Felix started to cry and had a feeling of relief mixed with revulsion.

"You're dead, I shot you in the head," Cried Felix.