Become an Energy Drink Connoisseur

Become an Energy Drink Connoisseur



Energy drinks don't have the cachet of wine or coffee. There are no magazines, websites, or specialty stores to support your interest in sugary concoctions of taurine, guarana, ginseng and caffeine. On the other hand, analysts estimate energy drinks generate $10 billion in annual sales, with growth rates that far outstrip sodas, juice and water. And there's enough variety in the market that it's possible to become an energy drink connoisseur.

Here are some tips on connoisseurship from "Energy Guru," the author of Energy Drink Reviews , who has sampled almost 600 energy drink varieties. (He didn't want us to use his real name because he thought the consulting firm he works for might look askance at his hobby.)

Procurement

Small gas stations and liquor stores are to energy drinks what Whole Foods is to Belgian beer. These mom-and-pop shops are far more likely to pick up smaller, less-known brands than the big chain stores. That's how you find drinks like Hyphy, which is both the Bay Area's equivalent of crunk and in the energy drink realm, as Energy Guru wrote, "a clear knock off of Pimp Juice." For the true collector, however, European energy drinks are the real prizes, like the UK's Relentless or the Czech Semtex, named after an "easy-to-use plastic explosive."

Preparation

Energy Guru always purchases two cans of any new drink. He pours half of one into a clear glass. This allows him to appreciate the rich neon blues, greens, and oranges of most energy drinks. Some, though, are disturbingly clear.

Tasting

Take a couple of sips and write down your impressions. After that, slam the rest of the can to test its buzz factor. Energy Guru not explicitly recommend shotgunning the products, but YouTube does, as in this clip of

a nice young man

shotgunning Cocaine.

Finding the Best Buzz

Energy Guru has curated a list of the drinks with the best buzz, or kick, as energy drink aficionados sometimes call it. But for the Wired reader, Energy Guru recommends SourceBurn, which is like the Burgundy of the energy drink realm — sophisticated, subtle, and complex.

On the other hand, if you're looking for a drink with a big taste and a big kick — the young Cabernet Sauvignon of energy drinks — you might look to Redline. It's the rage among school kids as well as female body builders. Although if you don't like sweating profusely and the shakes, you might be well-served to emulate the Energy Guru: He won't touch the stuff.


Original Article - Here

[Shasturbator]

for some odd reason the only thing I get out of energy drinks is a bad case of limp dick....