Today’s results are in!
Knockout Stage –Round 1
Maria Sharapova (74.36%) defeated Courteney Cox (25.64%)
Maria Sharapova will face Vanessa Hudgens (entering tournament as a bye) in Round 2!
Rachel Nicols (58.33%) defeated Sasha Grey (41.67%)
Kate Upton (60.53%) defeated Candice Swanepoel (39.47%)
Rachel Nicols will face Kate Upton in Round 2!
Felicia Day (66.67%) defeated Toni Garrn (33.33%)
Felicia Day will face Shay Mitchell (entering tournament as a bye) in Round 2!
Milla Jovovich (92.11%) defeated Dascha Polanco (7.89%)
Miranda Kerr (64.86%) defeated Anastasia Ashley (35.14%)
Milla Jovovich will face Miranda Kerr in Round 2!
Meow’s Musings:
In the first match of the day, Maria Sharapova served up a deuce to Courteney Cox’s face knocking her out of the match by an impressive landslide. I was surprised by the outcome of this match as I thought it would go the other way around. Courteney will be going back to cougaring while Maria will be practicing for her upcoming battle against Vanessa Hudgens. Will she come up aces again?
Rachel Nicols drew from her crime drama past for the perfect way to murder PORN STAR Shasha Grey, by sticking a 12 inch dong down her throat, pinching her nose and not letting her come up for air. No one suspected foul play after the coroner confirmed the cause of death. So it’s back to licking toilets clean for Ms. Grey. To be honest, I voted for Sasha and thought she was a shoe in for the next round. Goes to show you can’t predict these things!
In another upset to me, Kate Upton used a nail file to pop Candice Swanepoel’s eyes out ending her stay in the tournament and turning her into a new sort of “Angel”. What surprises me the most is the margin that she won by. Candice is so goddess like, but perhaps Kate Upton’s recent nerd game cleavage commercial gave her the edge that she needed to pull this off. Kate will now face Rachel Nicols in round two.
Felicia Day hacked into Toni Garrn’s iCloud to blackmail her way to victory by a respectable margin. What could the Calvin Klein model possible have in there that we haven’t seen before besides pics of Leo DiCaprio’s penis? Seems we’ll never know. The red headed beauty will move on to face Shay Mitchell in the next round. Does she have the skills to overtake the Pretty Little Liar?
And holy fuck did you catch the use of Milla Jovovich’s superhuman strength to literally rip poor little Dascha Polanco apart? Catching the T-Virus and killing thousands of zombies has proved to be quite a beneficial way for Milla to prepare for the contest and winning by the most impressive margin to date. She literally had almost all of our votes!
And for the last battle of the day, Miranda Kerr threw Anastacia Ashley right into the mouth of a huge ass shark that tore her limbs and head clean off her body. Miranda advances with a surprising to me landslide. With Bimbo Betty being a DSF front page favorite, I was much expecting the results to be reversed! With this, Miranda will face Milla Jovovich in Round 2. Should be quite the battle, I don’t even know who to choose!
What are your thoughts?
Latest Knockout Stage bracket
Thanks for voting!