Dear Randal - Page 3 - The Drunken stepFORUM - A place to discuss your worthless opinions

#21 07-21-2008, 12:07 PM

Dear Randall,

How come nobody posts their own links anymore?

n2tattoos.lol · #22 07-21-2008, 12:16 PM

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guess you guys didn't notice "we all pm him questions"

megagreg1 · #23 07-21-2008, 01:04 PM

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Dear Randall, why did no one read this up here

n2tattoos.lol · #24 07-21-2008, 01:56 PM

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hahaha...fucker

ms. cellany · #25 07-21-2008, 02:44 PM

Dear Randal,

When tossing a guy's salad, is it polite to ask him to turn over, 'cause I can't breathe with my nose shoved into his taint?

BlackCrypt · #26 07-21-2008, 04:09 PM

Dear Randal,

Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?

Name and address withheld upon request.

Kyle E. Coyote · #27 07-21-2008, 04:12 PM

I have severe allergies to cotton. I have some pills for it, but every time I open the bottle... well, you know. What do I do?

Randal Graves · #28 07-21-2008, 05:38 PM

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Avg or exceptional get the same, I don't really think someone can be exceptional at fetching me shit. So....

I usually tip about 25%, give or take a bit. Lower bills get a higher % b/c I don't usually tip less than $5 bucks.

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It makes me think I should call my Mom and thank her for everything she had to do to put me through college.

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Because the people who originally upped them didn't post them here so stealing was the next best option. Life would be a lot easier if people would just give you everything you want, but that's not always the case so you have to steal it. Stealing is way easier than putting in the work yourself.

Randal Graves · #29 07-21-2008, 05:42 PM

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Good question. The egg, because the chicken doesn't start cumming until the egg is coming out of it's ass.

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I'd hide her in trunk of a hated coworker then accidentally rear end him/her on the way out of the parking lot of work. Be sure to have the police check for damage inside of the trunk.

Randal Graves · #30 07-21-2008, 06:01 PM

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Because people only notice the bad things in life. If you wanted it to rain on the weekend, you would only notice when it was sunny even if it rained 3 of 4 weekends. People only notice the bad shit in life. It makes being depressed easier, and all people secretly want to be miserable.

Maybe, but only you know the answer to that. Considering God is a fictitious character that exists only in your mind like Santa Claus & the Easter Bunny you get to decide how much he loves or hates you. It's like having an imaginary friend. You get to decide what you want your friend to be like.

On a side note, has anyone considered the possibility that the Easter Bunny is just Jesus in a bunny suit? I mean the Easter Bunny didn't appear until after Jesus died and you never see them in the same place.

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It took me so long to answer you because I am intimidated by women, and I've been working up the nerve to talk to you for the past 6 hours.

I'm not sure. See above. If you think God hates you, then I'm sure he hates you more than I do.

I am God and so are you. God exists only in our minds, much like Tyler Durden existed only in the head of Ed Norton's character. You have to admit that Tyler was a part of Ed. Sure, Tyler was in control much of the time but at the end of the day Ed's character go to decide if he was going to let Tyler(God) control him.

I can tell you what's up with religion. People want to kill each other because we're all fucking animals at heart. Thousands of years of evolution have ingrained the desire to kill others who we perceive to be weaker than us. It's the same reason cats play with mice before killing. Instead of dealing with the fact that we are all fucked in the head mentally and want to to kill shit, it is easier to blame our imaginary friend God for telling us to kill. Just watch Drop Dead Fred or Fight Club. God is Fred or Tyler Durden. God is the evil imaginary friend who people use as an excuse for doing fucked up shit.