Help Me Jesus! or other Quebec Residents or Visitors.

[TylerB]

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Thank you very much.

[Marie-Eve Martinez]

Okay, these are some basic things you need to know about coming here.

1) You said you’re staying in Laval, Well, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but, Laval kind of sucks dude. Think of it as staying in like Clarkson, instead of downtown Toronto (only not as far. Lucky for you, downtown is only roughly 20-30 from Laval, so do yourself a favor and get the fuck out of there ASAP. Don’t worry it’s not your fault, and I don’t hold it against you.

2) Tip well while you’re here. Servers are fucking fanatical about that shit, and they will yell at you and get in your face. Don’t bother asking for the manager, he will join in with them.


3) People will likely greet you will the phrase “Salut, Ca va?” (sa-loo, sa- va? ) which is like saying “Hey, How’s it going?” ANSWER THIS BACK WITH “OUI , CA VA?” (WEE, SA VA?) which is like saying “Yeah it’s going, you?” DO NOT say “What the fuck?” or “Hi, I’m from Ontario.”
Seriously, it’s a customary greeting here, and people will know your English right off the bat, but they will really appreciate that and probably be nice to you.

The Best part about all these places, is they are not more then about 30 min walking distance (usually less) from each other. If you got a car, you'll be able to kill a wikkid portion of the city in no time and see alot.

You have to 100% go down to the Old Port. It's the old part of the city, with cobblestone streets and shit and horse drawn carriages. It's kind of touristy, but it's really beautiful and you shouldn't come here without going to check it out. Don't drive around it tho, walk it, it's way better.

If' you're just into hanging with with English people like yourself, talking English, about English things, then you'll probably want to hang out on Crescent Street It's full of a mix of students and guidos and pub style bars and is always rammed with people.

During the day, if you keep traveling East on St Catherine, there is a shitload of shopping etc around there, and it is also the main drag for the strip clubs (which are full contact by the way, 10$ a dance usually)

Likewise, St Denis is fun for walking around and shopping during the day, but at night all the shitty french bars play shitty music and you probably won't like it there.

If you want to have more fun than you have ever had before, then you want to hang out around St Laurent It's, like, the Vortex for booze, bars, drugs and getting laid in the city. I don't know what type of bars or music you usually like, but if you walk 4 blocks either North or South on This street, you'll find something you to do.

IF you're into rock/punk/metal, then hit up the legendary Foufounes Electrique (actually if you tell me what type of music you generally like to listen to when out, I can suggest some bars.


IF you wanna laugh at hippies on Sunday, go hang out HERE. They congregate here and bang drums and shit. It's pretty gay, but if you're into sitting out in the sun with hundreds of people, on a blanket and drinking beer out of a paper bag and making fun of people, you'll enjoy it.

If you actually want to have FUN on a Sunday, then go to Piknic Electronik which is a massive outdoor party every sunday with DJs and you can drink you beer outside in the parc in plain view, and watch hot bitches all day. It's 10$, all day, and well worth it. You take the Subway from BERRI-UQAM (main station) one stop to PARC JEAN DRAPEAU which is the fun island here that also has a casino and a 6 Flags (like Canada's Wonderland). Seriously, there's usually about 2000 people out there, half of them chicks.

Hope this helps!!!


XOXOXOXOOXOX

[SexyLion]

Gee, he really wants to know where the tranny's hang out!!!

[Marie-Eve Martinez]

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Oh, well you can find them HERE

[TylerB]

I'm fluent in French, and have visited Quebec before, just not Laval, I am going to visit my friend, who works during the day, at the Mariot in Montreal, so I was just looking for stuff to kill time during the day, I loved Vielle Quebec, so Old Port sounds cool, and I love making fun of hippies, so Piknic Electronik may be a stop for me.
I'll be in Montreal for St Jean day, I'll take a picture of the sunglasses I'll be wearing. If you see me, feel free to punch me in the back of the head.

[Marie-Eve Martinez]

IF youre fluest in french, you're going to have an awesome time, esp since it's st jean.

[TylerB]

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Le Francais c'etais mon langue a nee.
I was born in Sudbury. Spoke french before English, it's getting a little rusty, but I still use it enough to understand it perfectly. ESPECIALLY when I'm drunk.

Watch out for this bad boy:

[SexyLion]

Talk about your beer googles

[Marie-Eve Martinez]

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YOU LOOK LIKE SETH ROGAN!!!



Fuck, you may even speak French better than I do!! (its actually my second language)

[TylerB]

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I get that all the time, I owe the majority of my girl getting to Seth Rogan.