The future is unwritten, but I'm illustrating it now.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,143
Credits: 279,527
So it turns out that the best way to get along with my mother in law when she's in town for a weekend is to spend the entire day away, drinking. Trip out of town for wings and beer, then back to town and out for beers at my nephew's birthday party then more beers at a friend's birthday party.
Was sitting next to a chick at the second birthday party. There was a really bad painting on the wall of the restaurant and I asked - doesn't it look like that chick in the painting has three boobs? The girl says "What would you do with three boobs" so I pantomimed exactly what I'd do - two hands, one mouth. She says - "Huh - how do I get another boob?" and I said something about getting a third implant, not thinking specifically about her boobs or whether they were implants or not, but she says "Really, are they that noticeable?" then spends the next five minutes asking if I thought her implants were obvious. She then proceeds to tell me that she is in the army, and that while the army wouldn't pay for them, she got a deal on them by using army doctors, but that it required that a different doctor do each one. Very strange conversation and sadly, I couldn't convince her to show them to me.
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I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!