Has the odd ability to always find himself under falling anvils.
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 920
Credits: 76,600
Way too long. Somebody fuck me, please.
In all seriousness, I'm trying to lose weight before hitting the bar scene again. Getting out of the Corps I weighed in at 190, but balooned (I mean fucking BALOONED) to 270 because of a knee injury. Just over two months into the diet I'm hovering around 221.
Which brings me to my next point. You know what I hate even more than not getting laid? Lean-motherfucking-Cuisine.
__________________ NOSY LITTLE FUCKER, AREN'T YOU?
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One thing that will make you lose weight like a fucking bulimic is the stomach flu. I had it for four days (I ate some green diner eggs but didn't question them because I'm gross and I'll eat pretty much anything unless it's PARSLEY EWWW!!) and I lost almost 20 pounds. I only weighed 112 to begin with. I am 5'11". I looked like Skeletor. Took me a few days' worth of competitive-speed eating to gain it all back.
I also hate Lean Cuisine because no matter how many of them you eat YOU WILL NEVER BE FULL. You should stick to rice and beans. That shit will fill you up in a second and it never really gets gross. You can dress it up with all sorts of things. When I was little I would put orange soda in my rice because I refused to eat anything that wasn't sweet and bubbly.
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Unfortunately jerking off isn't a replacement to sex for me. I need both! Fortunately been married 11 years and I don't have to wait for either. Instead of bargaining sex for a months worth of back rubs he should have just started with the back rub and a bit of snuggling and the will follow.