I'm here to chew bubble gum and suck some dick, and I'm all out of bubble gum
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Socialist Paradise of USA
Posts: 14,881
Credits: 12,196,766
So the wife was trying to prep some home made scalloped potatoes using her brand new mandolin. I hear her screaming from the kitchen 5 minutes later. She cut her thumb but not too deep, just lots of blood.
I'm applying first aid to her and I ask what happened. I get the "I cut myself using the mandolin". I look over the kitchen counter and see the hand guard still in it's plastic bag. We end up going to the clinic (NO, not that clinic!) and she gets patched up.
We get home and I have to finish the potatoes so I grab the mandolin w/hand guard and bang out 15 in a couple minutes. Big deal right? It gets better, she comes over to watch and asks me what the plastic thing in my hand is? I just laugh and tell her that "It's so I don't cut my thumb". She got so embarrassed that she started to cry, LOL. I go over to her and lick the tears off her face and tell her that embarrassment tears taste the best!!!
She's the one with the MBA and great paying job. I'm the college dropout, ex-military who can't keep a job for more than 3 years at a time but she didn't want me to help her prep Easter dinner.