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Every scene in that movie, the bar scene especially, was unnecessarily long. If you cut out all the unimportant bits to each scene, the movie would be an hour and a half and much more enjoyable.
Not to mention it's a big fucking slap in the face to smear Brad Pitt all over television and advertisements and movie posters about how this movie is about him and his soldiers killing nazis, when it has absolutely fuckall to do with that. It also doesn't fucking know what kind of movie it wants to be. Is it a serious war movie, or a throwback to the 70's (as was clearly evident in the historical flashback of Hugo Siglitz)
Which by the way, why even bother throwing in a stylized 70's throwback homage to show the history of one character but no one else, especially one that plays virtually no other role in the movie other than a man who gets shot and killed. I mean they got Samuel L Jackson narrating his flashback. What the fuck for? Why even have it? Why even have these characters in the movie when it has so little to do with any of them?
It was a big fucking slap in the face. I didn't go into that movie expecting a dramatic tale of a jewish woman exacting revenge on the soldiers who killed her family, I went in expecting to see lots of Tarantino style action about American soldiers killing nazis in awesome ways. You know why I thought that? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT EVERYTHING LEADING UP TO ITS RELEASE SAID WE WERE GONNA FUCKING SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
And we got nothing of that. There's maybe 5 minutes of action in this entire 2 and a half hour movie. Whenever the action starts, it subsequently stops in a matter of seconds. The bar scene? Pretty awesome. I enjoyed sitting through 20 minutes of boring fucking dialogue that has literally NOTHING to do with the plot of the movie to get to an action sequence that lasts 20 seconds. And yes, I timed it. 20 minutes...... for 20 seconds. They spend all this time setting up the meeting of Diane Kruger with these soldiers and the build up to it, and it's just people sitting around playing drinking games and then the very tense sequence where they're learning to play the drinking game, ooooooohhhhhhhh. Fucking hell.
This movie spent 2 hours and 25 minutes cockteasing us with 5 minutes of quick "wait what the fuck just happened" action.
I fucking hate this movie and everything about it. They sit here and put Brad Pitt and Diane Kruger all over their posters and they play virtually no role in the primary plot of this movie.
Am I going to dismiss the performances? No, they were fantastic. Unfortunately they came in a movie that tries to do too many fucking different things and tries to get away with it because it's Quentin Tarantino. Oh it's okay, he can do that, he doesn't have to follow the fucking rules.
Tarantino could put Harvey Keitel and George Clooney in a room interrogating a turd for a 2 hours and people would call it gold. Tarantino sucks. He hasn't had an original idea since Reservoir Dogs. Everything he's done since then has been an "homage" or a "tribute" and people eat it up. All he's doing is rehashing old ideas and stealing film styles from other countries and people are giving him all the fucking credit in the world. Fuck him and fuck this fucking movie.
P.S. I hold no malice against anyone who likes this movie... I just really fucking hate this movie.