While not exactly the grossest thing in the world, it's the grossest thing that's happened to me.
I had met a girl and traded numbers, the usual stuff. Her dad owned a car sales showroom and she worked as a something or other in it. She asked me to come over and see her at work one evening, so I obliged.
The showroom lights were off and the outside lights were on so you could see very little from the outside looking in but we could see out to a relatively busy street. Next thing I know, were getting all touchy and stuff and she said she has to go to the ladies room, she comes back a couple minutes later and I soon realise she has taken her panties off. She unbuttons my jeans, hops up onto the hood of a car, leans back and tells me to fuck her.
Who am I to argue?
After a few minutes of this, she wants doggy style so she jumps down, turns around and leans forward over the car so I go back to work again, jeans at my ankles, t-shirt still on and it doesn't take long for me to come, especially with the idea that the people outside may be able to see us.
I waddle to the bathroom like a happy penguin to clean up and when I come out she has already sorted herself out. She tells me she still has work to do, so I take the hint and leave with the usual 'I'll call you' stuff. I'm on the bus (couldn't afford a car back then
) on the way home and i'm thinking 'this bus smells like shit', I move seats but no, it still smells like shit. People are looking at me funny. I look down at my t-shirt and it has a sweaty shit-stain right at the bottom of it and it fucking stinks.
She hadn't just gone to the bathroom to take her panties off, she'd had a shit too and hadn't wiped her ass properly and my t-shirt had acted as a wee sponge when i'd had her bent over the car.
Needless to say I 'lost' her number after that.