A man is in recovery after eye surgery. The surgeon comes in and asks, "Would you like the good news or bad news first?"
"I'll take the good news first," says the man.
The surgeon replies, "Well, you're about to get a new dog!"
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An old man and a little boy are walking in the woods after dark. The kid says to the man "Mister, these woods sure are scary."
The man replies "You think you're scared? I've got to walk out of here by myself."
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