[Expletive]

Duel on Mustafar remains one of the greatest light saber fighting scenes ever, though it isn't necessarily the greatest sword fighting scene ever since our Asian cousins has outdone Hollywood's Cock-up saber fights by leaps and bounds. And if you didn't know, Mustafar is a planet of lava in the Star-wars universe, and If you hadn't known that from the beginning, you're most likely a troll-fag and needs to fuck-off!

Word from the set is that Kyle what's his fuck good day mate, Ewan the haggis eater, and Hayden the maple-leaf, had a brilliant well thought out super fight for Anakin Vs Obi-Wan, but George Lucas being the adorable fat fucking loser he is, decided that Star-wars is his path to whoredom having space for only one attention whore, so he told the two actors and the fight coordinator/stuntman to go fuck themselves. And reportedly, after several rim-jobs, Steven Spielberg was finally able to convince George to allow him to work on the Mustafar duel.

But what a fucking awesome duel it was, and it would have been even more fucking awesome, if George Lucas didn't write the dialogue for it. But seeing as how George writes dialogue like inbred crack whores spouts poetry with a dick in their mouth, the actors and the audience was shat upon once again---to say the least. And what an awesome group of actors they were, Hayden had the angry looks but sounded retarded, and Ewan was noticeably underwhelmed with the boring dialogue and looked about ready to weep in almost every scene. But if you have the ability to see pass the fucking idiotic dialogue, the actual saber scene is fucking fantastic. And the constant revolving scenery was magnificent as well--- nothing short of Cock in Ass is as moving.

And though the Maul Vs Ben-Kenobi bit was supposed to be the untouchable star-wars duel, I'd have to disagree, since the brilliant speed and accuracy and sheer time of the Hayden and Ewan bout, was ever ready, like a professional male porn star on Viagra having a three way with two cougar cum stars from way back when; something to beheld.

But if there were a way to rip the cum of star-wars out of my fucking brain I'd gladly do it, because it's fucking stupid to be a fan, or even a remote fan of a fucking idiotic bit of science fiction written by a lazy fat fucker who acts as if he's unsure of what should be cool or isn't, and what should be allowed or wouldn't, or even what the fuck he's going for, an attention whore of the highest order who'd sell his birth right to be male for another billion, so from the bottom of my jaded heart I say, FUCK YOU GEORGE LUCAS, you and Hollywood for fucking up my childhood with your fucking half assed attempt at something awesome. That's why home-made porn is more awesome than all you fuckers; at least it plays to it's source and accomplishes genuine greatness.


And it would have been cool to have Hayden at least once rub Padme's clit with the force, or at least hint at it, c'mon George, you know you wanted to.


Though admittedly; Barcardi Razz and Cranberry is a lot better, and buying two for one from Butler and Sands is an awesome easter special, and for only ten fucking dollars, put that mutha fucka in your fucking pipe and smoke that fuckers.