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Humor me. Tie her up, Get a egg or bullet on the inside and the wand on the clit. Trust me you'll like the results
As for the b&d. Get carabiner clips or s-clips and your rope pre-cut and tied off to them. Then once you get her trussed up the way you like, you just clip to your anchor point(s). Cuts down a lot on the time frame (unless you're doing shibari, or suspension play.)
To spice things up after 4 years you're going to have to get in her head a bit to make that happen. Find out her inner spank bank and exploit it.
