Let's don't start a whole dialogue about your intimacy problems, but is she on any meds? Most anti-depressants and many other drugs have sexual side effects that could inhibit orgasm.
The feeling like she needs to pee is pretty common, but it sounds like along with everything you've done wrong, there's plenty that she could/should be doing. Until she can come alone she's not going to come with you. Buy her these books:
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Also these two, but I can't be arsed to find the cover pix.
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This is assuming she'd like to change the status quo. If not, then either get used to just getting yours or find another girl to bang.