Me, I'm nobody. But my mom did talk her way out of a speeding ticket with a New York trooper on the Thruway. It's the mid-60's and my mom, me (10), and my shitbag sister (6) are on our way to visit relatives upstate. We're bombing along about 70 on the Pike and get pinched.
My mom is out back pleading her case to the trooper and I hear her mention 'these miserable kids' and point to the car. I start pounding the shit out of my sister. She freaks out and starts hitting back at me. The car's rocking, its full on MME mayhem inside. My mom sees us and starts crying and pointing and walking away.
I suppose the trooper figured that he wanted no part of roadside family intervention. He pulled my mom back, gave her back her license, and told her to get control of her kids and drive under the speed limit.
My mom got back in and we finished the trip in silence. She did look at me and smile.
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... as I hooked my gnarled finger thru her nipple
ring, and pulled her supple body toward mine ...
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