[Expletive]

(This part of the story is important I guess, and by I guess I mean not to me because I'm fucking bored and uninterested, and that's partly why I didn't continue to write last night; being sleepy and uninterested is akin to most fuck-ups composed by mankind. I started writing this bit of which you're presently reading at 10:20 am this morning at right now it's 11:36 am, sure I can say it's partly due to the fact that I hadn't had breakfast and I had to keep my two year old niece occupied for a time, but it just goes to show---wait a moment, that is why it took more than an hour to finish up. The reason why it took me this long to continue is that this next part is perhaps one of the most complicated parts of the story: How the hell do you describe a floating fart cloud and it's shit smell in the third person?)

Sensations leads to realizations, and through Pain a god is born.

Paul Howard tried to fall into the arms of oblivion or at best unconsciousness to be rid of the reality that had a hole in his gut cavity and a cloud of acid eating away at his flesh. In reality, the small piece of the nebula beast that had boarded their vessel a cloud of acid it wasn't, but it's actions felt as if it was; a corrosive element persistent and continual like it's namesake. But like the gods of hindu mythology, it represented the very essence of life itself, the yin and the yang: All that is good and not so good; the celestial spiritual and the destructive physical; feeding upon it's victims for their warmth and life force representing the needs of it's physicality, whilst simultaneously maintaining the very existence it seeks to extinguish; representing it's celestial spiritual; it unwittingly repairing some of the damage enabling the body to function per business as usual with the person's bits exposed to air and bacteria. A state of Purgatory is as best as Paul reckoned it to be---yet, each time the cycle of destruction and repair occurs, something within the wayward human begins to change. As Paul drifts into the arms of peace, the smallest bits of realization darts into his consciousness. So much so that in the minimal functions of his present state, Paul felt an expansion of his consciousness; a slight change so small that regularly even the most enlightened of humans wouldn't notice it, but in Paul's state of carnage, he became painfully aware of everything; as time seemingly slowed down, and his physical functions, and mortal wounds became intertwined in his mind, enabling Paul to know all that constitutes his physicality, and the endless potential of the very life force he continually lost and recovered.

edit i'd do more but my niece is persistent