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(Dammit, I don't know whether to feel bad, or make a yo mama joke, in case he's lying. So here goes)
My condolences on the untimely death of your mother--nobody should attempt to swallow that much semen at once. Crap. Uh, she was a wonderful woman and made many men very happy, very quickly. Shit, I mean, she was extremely beautiful, and could make money just walking down the street. Sorry dude. I should say she was a caring woman, and would take many a stranger in on a cold night, often two or three at a time. Fuck it, sorry again, I didn't realize she was dead, I thought maybe she just wasn't enjoying it...