Combat Skateboard
 

That was too small to read, and I strained my eyes to the point of cussing, so I went outside and had a nice Camel Wide Light and feel much better now. :D

I turn into EVIL SMEEGS and start flaming st00pid n00bs!

People Who Became Nouns
 

Site has pics.

Before there were silhouettes, there was a Silhouette. And before there was gerrymandering, there was a Gov. Gerry. It's easy to forget that some of the English language's most common words had real-life namesakes in living, breathing people. Like the Edsel, a disastrous car line that has become synonymous with failure. The line was named after Henry Ford's son Edsel (at right here with his dad in 1905 in Detroit) by the company board. Thanks, guys.

Joseph Hooker: Ladies Man
Civil War Union Maj. Gen. Joseph Hooker lent his name to the world's oldest profession because was famously diligent about keeping his troops supplied with female companionship.

Charles Boycott: No Sale
The English army captain and hated land agent for Lord Erne in County Mayo, Ireland, became persona non grata when he attempted to evict 11 tenants -- his neighborhors heeded Charles Parnell's call to ostracize and not do business with people like Boycott, instead of resorting to violence. "Boycott" now means to refuse to do business with someone for political reasons.

Henry Shrapnel: Ouch!
English artillery officer Henry Shrapnel lent his name to deadly fragments of artillery, bomb, and mine shells by inventing the first anti-personnel shrapnel shell.

Vidkun Quisling: No Patriot
Vidkun Quisling betrayed Norway to Nazi Germany and became leader of occupied Norway's collaborationist government, and was executed by firing squad by his countrymen after the war. His very name, quisling, has come to mean "traitor."

Robert Peel: Man With a Badge
British Home Secretary Robert Peel lent both his names to nicknames for police officers -- peelers and bobbies -- after he became responsible for founding the the first formal police forces in history. Here: member of Peel's Irish police force in 1851.

Earl of Sandwich: Take a Bite
John Montagu, the fourth earl of Sandwich, was a notable political and military figure in 18th-century Britain, but he's probably best remembered for being the namesake of the sandwich, which he legendarily had a valet invent for him so he could eat meals while hunched over work at his desk. Here: The earl's descendant, John Montagu, the 11th earl of Sandwich digs in at Disneyland Paris.

Axel Paulsen: Air Norway
Norwegian skater Paulsen performed the first axel jump -- an air jump with a forward takeoff -- in 1882, and now no figureskating competition would be complete without the announcers cooing over triple axels like the one performed in this photo.

Jules Leotard: Tight Fit
French acrobat Jules Leotard didn't just invent the art of the trapeze, he also lent his name to the skin-tight, one-piece outfit that allowed him to keep his limbs free while performing. (He's also the inspiration for the song, "The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze." Here: Leotard in 1850.

Guy Fawkes: Hey, Dude
The Catholic conspirator who tried to blow up Parliament in 1605 didn't just give us creepy masks and movies from the makers of The Matrix -- he's also the origin of the use of the word "guy" to mean any random man. Here's how: After Fawkes was thwarted and hanged and quartered, the anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot became an annual celebration in England. The most popular way to celebrated? By lighting fireworks and burning effigies of Guy Fawkes. "Guy" became slang for effigies in general, and then for men wearing unusual clothes, and then just for men in general.

^^^
That one's interesting

William Spooner: Or Was It Spilliam Wooner?
The Anglican clergyman and Dean of New College Oxford, William Archibald Spooner's frequent verbal slip-ups gave rise to the term "spoonerism," in which one switches the parts of two words in a sentence. For example: "The Lord is a shoving leopard" from "The Lord is a loving shepherd."

Earl Of Cardigan: Button Up
James Thomas Brudenell, seventh earl of Cardigan, led the Charge of the Light Brigade during the Crimean War, but we remember him best nowadays because he gave his name to the sweater with buttons down the front.

Amelia Bloomer: Who Wears the Pants Around Here?
American women's-rights activist and magazine editor Amelia Jenks Bloomer picked up and promoted the wearing of loose pants by women over the restrictice dresses and skirts of the period. Her name became associated with the much-ridiculed fashion.

Joseph-Ignace Guillotin: Cuts Like a Knife
Though French physician Joseph Guillotin is often credited with having invented the guillotine, he only suggested that swift decapitation would be more humane, and would quell the public hunger for public executions. His family was so embarrassed that they shared their name with the device that they eventually changed their surname. Another myth -- that Guillotin was executed by the machine that bears his name -- is also false. He died of natural causes.

Rudolf Diesel: The Little Engine That Could
Easy enough to explain: French-born German engineer and inventor Rudolf Diesel invented the diesel engine in the twilight days of the 19th century. He had nothing, however, to do with overpriced jeans.

Etienne Silhouette: Shadow of a Doubt
French finance minister Etienne Silhouette was an unpopular figure in 18th-century France, and when it became known that he was a fan of the cheap art of cutting out figures of people instead of drawing full portraits, the craft took on his name.

James Watt: Full of Energy
The Scottish inventor, known for his improvements of the steam engine, was honored after his death by having the standard unit of the conversion of energy named after him (1 joule/second). But let's not get into James Prescott Joule.

Isaac Newton: Force of Nature
The British mathematician and scientist and all-around standard for genius is honored today with the naming of the newton, the standard unit of force (the amount of force required to accelerate one kilogram at one meter per second per second).

Ambrose Burnside: Hair Today, Trend Tomorrow
Civil War Union Gen. Ambrose Burnside, defeated at Fredericksburg at the Battle of the Crater, had distinctive facial hair that allegedly was dubbed "burnsides" for him, morphing later into "sideburns."

Louis Braille: Reading Through Fingers
Frenchman Louis Braille invented an alphabet of raised bumps for blind people like himself, and it not surprisingly took his name.

Elbridge Gerry: Crossing (Out) Borders
When Massachusetts Gov. Elbridge Gerry redrew the political map of his state to benefit the Democratic-Republican Party in 1812, the Boston Gazette called him on it, publishing a map of the redistricting in which the affected areas were caricatured as a dragon-like salamander. The unnaturally shaped, politically rejiggered districts were dubbed the "Gerry-mander."

Johann Cruyff: Fancy Footwork
Soccer's Dutch midfielder Johann Cruyff (here as he dribbles past Argentinian goalkeeper in 1974, was so deft with his feet that one of his signature moves, in which he did a 180-degree turn while faking a pass, became known as the Cruyff Turn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1k7DGqRF5g

Frank Zamboni: Smooth as Ice
The Utah-born ice-rink owner invented the ice-rink resurfacer that is commonly known simply as a Zamboni. Here: Richard Zamboni, his son (center; Frank died in 1988), accepts an award inducting Frank Zamboni into the World Figure Skating Hall of Fame in 2006 in Calgary, Canada.

Alessandro Volta: Simply Shocking
Italian physicist Alessandro Volta developed the first electric cell in 1800, and now the unit of electric potential is called the volt.

Thomas Crapper: Heavy Load
British plumber and businessman Thomas Crapper didnt invent the water closet, but added several important improvements and help popularize it in the late 19th and early 20th century. According to legend, his name became synonymous with the act of defecation. In reality, the word had already been in use for centuries. The fact that his name was Crapper was just a, erm, sweet coincidence.

How to Punish Your Homosexual Child

I can remember the days of when this young man was attending Catholic school in Scottsdale, AZ and was learning about all the great things in life. One thing I never had to deal with was rowdy kids and that was because heterosexual children are 96% more likely to behave in class then a homosexual child. Back in my day there was maybe a 1% population of homosexual students. Now they is rising number and it is currently at 35.9%.

I put together a how to guide on what to do if you are cursed with the task of raising an infected child.

Before Birth
When your wife becomes pregnant, make sure to have the fetus tested for any gay genes. If your child is tested positive, then you need to talk to your wife and ask her why she engaged in female to female fish cave worshiping in college or if she had any late night orgies with bi sexual men while skipping her home ec classes. Ask her if she has ever had her sewer hole tainted by a man?s twiddle rompus or if she has shoved a plastic man torpedo up there. Sin hole play and any other of the activities listed above can infect your baby with the iGay gene.

Actions and Punishment
Since burning at the stake and beating children have been banned, I compiled a list of causes and actions on how to deal with your homo walking fetus without having the police called on you.

Tries to talk back with words that sound smart and with a lisp

Reason: Uses MAC products or is using MAC products at his friend?s house. People who use MACs think they have a higher intelligence, but that is far from true. Their pseudo intellectual attitude comes from all the blogs that MAC users write, the fake smart podcasts from their iToons, watching MAC commercials make fun of Christian business men and show that a homo hipster is way cooler, making emo music and 8-bit music playlists on their iPods and reading gay porn on their iPods. The lisp comes from mimicking the way satan hump slave christ angel speaks (avid MAC user and homosexual).

Action: Destroy all MAC products. Make your child collect any stickers, man purses and electronic devices that display the rainbow flagged apple logo on it and make them dump them into a trash can and set it on fire. This will show the child that you will not put up with his sassy talk and if they want to speak like that, they can move to San Fagisco and live on the streets like all the other poisonous rats.

Dances like a sugar plum fairy

Reason: Watches homo erotic shows like Yo! Gabba Gabba and Ellen. These shows teach children how to dance at gay disco bars and how to attract other satan scepter worshipers.

Action: Cancel any cable that you have in your house. Replace their TV with a tape player and purchase Bible stories on tape. Your child will soon learn that stories about love and heterosexuality are more entertaining then some homo hobbit looking dike dancing around to 8-bit black music.

Wears their sister?s pants or dresses

Reason: Reads GAP ads in fashion magazines. Gay men like to have their tadpole torpedo mashed into their pants as much as possible. They like to have it displayed so other rump harpooners can see what kind of meat they can shove down their throats during mouth sex acts.

Action: Remove all womens pants and dresses in the house. Replace with sweat pants. If the boy is still wearing dresses or berry smuggler pants, then prance them around a prison with men who haven?t had a lover in 10 years. This will surely scare the child out of their confused fashion sense.

Goes vegan

Reason: Gays like to stay health from their AIDS, so they only eat vegetables. They also know many vegetables are shaped like flesh crayons. Gays also like to use vegetables are sexual toys and then eat them later.

Action: Let your child know they do not have AIDS until they engage in man to man sin docking or female to female wound riding and that being a vegan is unhealthy. Let them know not eating meat with get them made fun of and beat up at school and in public by the more manly and untainted children.

Boy wears a man purse

Reason: They are watching the Homo Gay Agenda?s network ?Bravo.? This station is the brainwashing center of the gays. Young males are told that man purses are fashionable and all they really are, are a place for gays to store anal rape toys, chemicals to loosen their sewer muscles, blindfolds for children and other pedo items.

Action: A good smack to the side of the head. Any boy who walks around with a homo hand bag needs to be roughed up. Challenge your son to a wrestling match and let them know they can invite their other boy friends over for a good ol? fashion hand of God whooping.

Daughter cuts her hair short

Reason: Most likely watching the ?L? word on Showtime, spending time with hippies or has gone to a party in Palm Springs.

Action: Force them to do kitchen duties for a month. This will remind them the role of a women. Not going out and hanging with the girls or drinking at a bar. Young girls need structure and that structure can be taught by making meals, cleaning and sewing.

Son gets a faux hawk

Reason: The gays most popular hair cut. Your son most likely saw this on every homo in homowood or has been watching and listening to Ryan Seacrest.

Action: Shave their head with a razor. The pure pain of doing this will make them think twice about going down to a salon instead of a barber shop, so they can make their hair look like some homo dumped devil dna in it and swirled it around. The razor is painful, but is not abuse. Giving a child a haircut is now physical at all.

Son cries like a girl

Reason: Listening to emo music or Adam Lambert.

Action: Secretly record your son crying and play it at their school during morning announcements. The humiliation that your son with go through will instantly force them to suck it up and be manly.

I hope my knowledge helps a few of you parents out there. Do remember, that it isn?t just your child?s fault, it is also your wifes.


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If you're taking this as real, then know it's off of a Christian parody site.

best fuckin' laugh i have had in months, thank you!